Monday, May 23, 2011

Gather 'Round for a Story

Last week I said that I would try to open up to y'all a bit more, and I even asked if there was anything you wanted to know. The fabulous Patty of My Life Under the Bus suggested that I start with something "funny." It being Menu Plan Monday, I've got JUST the story! (with some jewelry peppered in for the pretty pictures!)
ON SALE - Unique Inspiration


Let me start by saying that I wasn't always the cooking maven I am today. Growing up, I had absolutely no ambition for or interest in learning to cook. My mom joked that I could barely boil water. But, I made it through summers on mac-n-cheese, ramen noodles, and Chef Boyardee. That was all I needed.

With a move on my college campus, I branched out my cooking repertoire a little. My favorites were tuna salad and nachos (not together of course.)  But still, no serious cooking. When Pat and I started dating, I really didn't have to reach for any new recipes. The man loves simple things like Hamburger Helper, spaghetti, and chili (we went through a LOT of hamburger meat!) Yet, something in ME started to stir. I began to clip recipes from magazines and flip through cook books. I still can't put my finger on what changed.
Summer Shine Earrings

As my relationship progressed, Pat and I decided to rent a house together that was about midway between where each of us worked. I felt all domestic in my rented HOUSE. As such, I expanded my cooking skills along with the additional floor space. I was even making lasagna! Until. . . .

[Let me preface the rest of the story with the small fact that right after we started renting the house, we were having plumbing problems. These problems meant that we couldn't run any water down the drains without another drain backing up. It was a rough time.]

Since we were having the plumbing issues and eating off of paper plates, I decided to make a MASSIVE lasagna in a disposable aluminum pan so we could eat it for days without making any more messes. I thought I was being resourceful. I carefully measured out the sauce, the various cheeses, the layers of noodles, and more sauce, and meat, and more cheese, and sauce. . . It was beautiful. With the last layer of cheese sprinkled on top, I grabbed the pan's sides and turned to put the whole thing in the oven. Just as I reached the oven, the entire pan COLLAPSED, hit the floor, and splattered all over me, the oven, the floor, the cabinets, EVERYWHERE!! It looked like a crime scene.

I stood ankle-deep in the mess and stared in disbelief. There went our dinner! There went all that hard work. There went . . ..oh goodness. . . HOW was I supposed to clean up this disaster WITHOUT WATER? I called Pat in and he surveyed the scene. We scooped up lasagna from the floor with a dustpan and wiped it off other surfaces with paper towels. Sauce has a way of getting in more nooks and crannies than you know exist. After what seemed like an eternity of cleaning up the several pounds of lasagna from the kitchen, I was outside . . .  getting HOSED OFF!!! Seriously, my loving boyfriend pointed a hose at me and sprayed off bits of uncooked lasagna and sauce from my body in the backyard! I knew then that we would laugh about it one day. And, we've laughed about it MANY times since.

However, this is the lasagna I make now.
Stouffer's Lasagna
And I VERY CAREFULLY maneuver it into and out of the stove.

Obviously I do enjoy cooking now and take some time each week to make a meal plan of the foods I'll be preparing. Without further ado, here's my Menu Plan Monday. There are more where this came from over at I'm an Organizing Junkie.

MONDAY
B: Granola bar
L: Leftovers
D: Mac-n-cheese with conecuh, spinach salad (with grapes, strawberries, and almonds)

TUESDAY
B: Breakfast burrito
L: Ham sandwiches
D:Grilled chicken, sweet potato, broccoli

WEDNESDAY
B: Cereal
L: Tuna noodle
D: Pat on own

THURSDAY
B: PB toast
L: bean burritos
D: Beef with snow peas

FRIDAY
B: Cereal
L: Soup and grilled cheese
D: Mexican - out

SATURDAY
B: Omelets
L: PB&J
D: Hope on own

SUNDAY
B: Muffins
L: Ham quesidilla
D: Hope on own

I think I've said enough today and my craft room is begging for attention. I can hear the beads calling out to be played with. . . It's time to get some real work done!

Let me know if you've had any similar kitchen disasters. I'd love to know I'm not the only one!

8 comments:

  1. What a funny story! I remember it wasn't funny at the time, but it sure is great to look back and laugh.

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  2. Heather- Oh yeah, I WAS NOT pleased at the time. . .But, what a great story it turned out to be! We refer to it as "The Lasagna Incident"

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  3. OMG!!! Bahahaha - Damn those pans! I think a man invented them because they don't hold anything. My mother was NOT a cooker so I taught myself to survive. My husband on the other hand had an Italian Mama who cooked all the time. He is still high maintenance and requires a starch , meat and vegetable at every meal : P

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  4. Patty - Yeah, those pans are a bee-yotch! My mom IS a cooker, but I was just in the way and never really learned much until later.

    I do also rely on the starch, veg, and protein rule. (But things like pizza and lasagna tend to contain all three. . .so they're safe in my opinion!)

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  5. my whole life is a kitchen disaster, so i can relate! this story had me laughing, but the hosing off in the yard---that's what sent me into hysterics!!!

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  6. One Kiss- Yes! The yard hosing really seals the deal on that story. I'll never forget the stream of spaghetti sauce running off my legs and down the driveway. . .

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  7. drop a dozen eggs

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  8. Anon- Oh dear. . .that sounds like a nightmare. I hear pouring salt on dropped eggs makes them easier to clean up. :)

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