Long (and Probably Boring) Excuse, The End Is Good Though

**Fingers inserted in ears** La, La, La - I can't hear you complain that I missed another Monday. It was a really rough day for me. LOML*'s flight left at 6am from Pensacola. That meant he had to be at the airport at 5am, we had to leave by 4am, and we had to get up at 3:30am. I threatened to stay up all night rather than go to bed at 8:30pm. I was actually in the bed before him, but didn't fall asleep until about 11pm.
I got up alright, made it there and back, and tried to rest some. Instead, my wheels were turning about some things I need to take care of within the next few days-weeks. I worked on some of that then went shopping for some of these items. I had NO LUCK with the shopping excursion in the 95 degree weather and got home around 4pm, where I found a package on the doorstep. It held Sublime Stitching and Doodle Stitching. I maniacally tore open that package and plopped on the couch, flipping through these two really great books. Eventually, my body gave in and I dozed off for about 4 hours. Once I was conscious again, I spent the rest of the evening watching some chick flicks and testing out my embroidery skillZ. I tried to go to sleep by FINALLY watching Pride and Prejudice with Keira Knightly. Yeah, I didn't blink for the whole movie. Now I remember why I LOVE THAT BOOK. In the end, I tossed and turned until about 3am before finally finding rest.
So, in conclusion, that's why I didn't blog yesterday.

However, I plan on making it up right now. Let's skip Techie Tuesday and re-do Made Me Smile Monday (esp since I've missed a few of these.)
  • This commercial is a bit sexist and about tools (NOT the fun kind), but so worth watching it if you see it through to the end.
  • president chest bump.
  • Girl gets even with construction workers.
  • Sarcasma - medicine to treat sarcasm.
  • Lastly - my favorite joke (a bit long, but you will be in tears!)
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, 'When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.'
So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:
1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Big Daddy, Junior, and the spook.
8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the shit out of him.
9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
10)We do not refer to the cross as the 'Big T.'
11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, 'Take this and eat it for it is my body.' He did not say 'Eat me'.
12)The Virgin Mary is not called 'Mary with the Cherry'.
13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
I hope you liked that as much as I do.
By the way - I'm really looking forward to this evening as I get to go see the Sex in The City movie. I sooooooo can't wait!!

*LOML=Love of My Life

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